To be excited, to be entertained, to be woed after and adored. To feel chased after. For someone else to make the plans. To be made love to, to be fucked.
To feel the vastness of the world, rather then the vastness of my inner world. To feel like I'm a part of things, to feel normal.
Not to think so much, not to feel so much.
To have a drink rather then a cup of coffee.
To dumb down and numb down.