Monday, December 14, 2009


Still feeling anxious.

Not those blinding panic attacks that makes me unable to sleep, eat and makes me wish I was dead. Just some annoying gut wrencing feeling, like a cronic pain, that makes me feel like everyone I know are somehow angry with me.

The silence in my mind get filled with words, long speaches in my own voice, my parents voices, and other, all describing how hurt they are but something I did.

I replay every minor social mishap I made in the past couple of days, a slightly racist jokes, a hesitent handshake, a strange phrasinf in a blog comment, a million times till they intensify into horrrific acts of social inediquaty and I feel like I don't fit to live around other human beings.

It's not so bad, but it's bad enough.

1 comment:

lostfoundagain said...

This sounds pretty bad actually. It sounds like a really shitty way to go through the day. I'm sorry it's like this for you right now. Hopefully, it will pass very soon. Btw- I'm coming to see you guys this weekend. Not sure when exactly, but I'll email you soon.