old home

This is the door to the house I grew up in till I was 7. my parents moved to a place in the same block after that.

I have very little memories from this place, but I do remember it. At the time, there was no metal 24 on the door, but a painting of a cat (I think) my dad made. The door was the same color white, but it better shape.

I remember the huge room and me and my sister share, I remember a tiny living room which, at night, turned into my parent's bedroom, and the paved yard with plants in it, and a plastic table. I remember the long dark kitchen with the narrow table and narrow bench my parent's had made especially to fit into the room. I remember small moments there, but nothing sharp, some of the things I know I only think I remember because I was told about them later or saw a photograph of.

Our Monocromatic day

The past couple of days were very hectic. I had to take care of a stack of annoying formalities, mostly (thanks gods or whoever else is responsible for such things) over the phone.

Also, we met a massive amount of people over the past couple of days, it's so wonderful to see so many friends, and especially from the distance of about 2 years - it's really interesting and inspiring to see how much everyone grew, learned, settled down in themselves, and mostly - are happier then they used to be. Or at least how it seem to me, maybe I just learned to see happiness better.

Tomorrow is the big stressful day - we are going to a meeting with the Jerusalem museum art curator in the morning, then meeting my dad, my sister and my grandparents - all this in Jerusalem - a city I don't really like and not at all feel comfortable anymore. I'm nervous about how early we need to get up, and about how the meeting will go, and about meeting my family. Somehow, I don't think that this will discover new resolves of happiness.

So today, I decided to not make any plans. Me and Ned had a leisurely breakfast with my sister, who worked in the afternoon, then Ned went to the gym and I manage to get about a half hour of quite drawing in a cafe. We walked around all afternoon, going to the beach, the market, and just aimlessly wondering around the different neighborhoods.

Lucky cats from lucky socks!

Check out those awesome cats me and my sister made yesterday!

Unexpected stroll

So after 4 days of wondering around vacation style, the week started and it was time for the less fun stuff, I have some errands here with banks. social security, I want to see my dentist, maybe get my teeth cleaned, talk to my insurance guy about my pension plan, maybe get a new pair of glasses. I hate this type of calls, and I hate running errands, especially since I feel very much out of the loop and irresponsible about how I have handled things on the Israeli aspect of my life in the past few years.

But first thing first we went to find Ned a gym for the next week, and to try and find a patch for his pants. He got to CK jeans about a month and a half ago and decided to wear them to the trip. The are totally falling apart now with a big hole in the knee and 2 holes in the back pocket.

We had an early breakfast, found a gym, and then tried for the patches which led to a long long walk to Nachalat binyamin, Bialik st., the market and basically, all my favorite places.

The rest of the errands were only a very partial success, made a dentist appointment, but no opening at the hygienist, manage to figure out how much I owe social security, but couldn't pay it cause I'm still waiting for my non-expired visa card, couldn't get hold of the bank, couldn't get hold of the insurance guy. Couldn't get hold of a curator Ned and I were planning to meet.



I'm feeling so confused now.

On one end I'm having a wonderful time and I feel right at home here and want to stay forever. On the other hand I miss NY terribly and wantto be home already. I feel like this trip barely begun, and yet as if I have no time for anything I need and want to do, and like it's almost over already. At the same time, I feel like it's too long somehow.

A lot of this had to do with being frustrated with my family issue and not being able to ignore it as I can in NY. I don't know what I expected, but I know I'm already disappointed.

Abu Adham

Oh, good hummus, how I missed you!

3rd day in Israel

The 3rd day just started, we are about to finally get dressed and go out. It's my sister's birthday and we are going to the flee market, and then meeting a friend. It's beautiful and sunny out, and strangely enough, though this is the city I call home more then any the world, it feels like a real vacation.

Ned and I were so focused on the bad stuff that can happened, that neither of us even imagined that it can actually be fun.

I want to remember to remind myself that I tend to focus on the bad and that I can also, maybe, learn to also have room for the good.

Almost there

So today I bought some gifts for some people, I got fuel stabilizer for the motorcycle, which we'll bring up tomorrow, and a headphone split so that we can listen to an audio book together on the plane. I got some melatonin that's suppose to help with Jet lag, a presentation box for some of the art we are taking with us. I mostly cleared the mess in the apartment, mostly. I wrapped all the gifts, made a pile of the cloths I want to take, charged my camera batteries.

I thought I lost of of the document that I need to be able to get back into the USA, and went crazy for half an hour until it turned up. got our passports out of the safe, and my green card and my Israeli ID and medical insurance card.

I keep making lists of stuff we still need to take care of tomorrow - empty the fridge, pack some things, take the computer and the cameras and the phones and all their chargers, Ned needs new pills which we can't get in Israel, Talk to the super about getting the bike up.

Ned took care of making a million prints today, after a few days of trying to get our printer working again, we finally gave up and he went to print them in the shop. He e-mailed a book publisher, and a model agency owner, and now, retouching the last of the photos from our last shoot, to be send out tonight, before we go.

We had a small fight today, on the way to the supermarket. He was talking about jeans, and he felt like everything I said was putting him down, like I wasn't being supportive, or considerate. I didn't feel like I was doing that, I don't know maybe I did, maybe we are just tense before the trip. We talked about it in the apartment, a few minutes after getting back, and couldn't really reach an agreement.

I'm scared that this is how this whole trip is going to be like. He talks about being there for me and being supportive, but I keep feeling stressed about us being there together, the change in our living arrangement and me being more social and having a lot more obligation, is going to make him really unhappy. I really hope that I'm wrong and that's not how it's going to go.