Thursday, July 9, 2009

Shitty Day

Because I woke up feeling anxious from a phone call that ended before I manage to find the phone.

Because later on, when they called again it turned out to me my grandmother telling me my father told her to tell em not to write about my sister on the internet, or people might read about it (what people?!) and then gave me a talk about me needing to start working on her grand grand kids.

Because Ned slept 4 hours more then me and I had to sit with the crappy feeling for 3 hours not having anyone to talk to about it.

Because of too much coffee or to little coffee.

Because of a long walk from Purl River to union square with a huge bag full of too heavy china.

Because of the stupid Giglio which meant my evening was full of annoying music, screams, and a speaker system voice telling me every 10 minutes that the Casino is open in the gym.

Because it's after midnight and I didn't get any work done. And I didn't make anything for the Etsy store in about a week and made no sales since Saturday.

Because I'm worried about the green card paperwork and know I have to start working on getting a bunch of stupid letter, bills, papers and document arranged for this and I hate the idea of having to prove things to strangers.

Because this whole day I'm having angry conversations with my father in my head and I already know I'm never going to tell everything I have to say to his face and that it's just another wedge between us, silence and pleasantries seem to be all we have left.


Love Honor Disobey said...

I can't even begin to tell you how much I can relate to those last few paragraphs of this posting.

I too am in immigration-form-filling hell as well as having unresolved ruminations about my dad.

hugs from me :-) x

Tamar Hammer's Blog said...

I love your writing.

lostfoundagain said...

My god that sounds like a really frustrating day! It's enough shitty stuff for a whole week at least!

That bit about your father having your grandmother call you to tell you what not to write on your blog is really over the top! And it reminds me of the way that my family communicates- no one talks straight to each other, people send messages through one person to another person and it's all a spiderweb of crazy enmeshment. I'm glad for you that at least you're out of it and are here and free to live your life outside of that disfunction. I hope that the immigration paperwork isnt too tedious and is over with quickly. Hugs! Really looking forward to seeing you on Sunday!