Today was the fact and fancy meet the artist trunk show in which I took part. I got so stressed about it all week that I made a massive massive amount of stuff. The middle of the gallery is taken by a beautiful dining table which I knew i would have to myself, in my mind, the more stuff i made, the larger the table became, I think that by the last day of preparing, it was actually larger then the whole store.
The weather was against me, it was very very cold today, probably colder then it had been this year, so I think not too many people were out, but the store was pretty crowded most of the time, and I had some a nice time just hanging out with Danielle and being there.
When I started the Etsy store, I really liked the way it allowed me to sell my stuff without having to actually be there, in person, to sell my stuff. I'm shy and anxious around new people and a really terrible sales person. Also, I realized through this how hard it is to feel like my whole self esteem, in that moment, is focused on one person browsing around a shop full of really amazing stuff and either choosing or not choosing to buy my art.
It's really hard to know when to talk to people, when to leave them alone, when to make eye contact and I kept feeling like I'm somehow messing up or not getting it or that there's some trick to this that I didn't get, and everyone else know.
At the end of the day, 4 things got sold - a small painting, a large painting, a sake bottle and a small tapas dish. Danielle told me that so far, this was the best trunk show day! which made me feel so good, I felt so grateful for her for letting me know.
On the train, on the way back, I thought about how, when I started selling on Etsy, I felt the same, like there's something to figure out that will produce an ongoing sells flow and will somehow make it all work. Then after a wile, I learned that there's no such things, some weeks are better then others, some really suck, you have to keep promoting and making stuff and getting better, with time it get a little easier, not cause I figured anything out, but because I got used to it, I make a sale and another and it all ads up somehow, and every little bit of effort, time and money helps.
This was the last Trunk show I did this holiday season, they were all small low-key events, 2 of which were organized by Ned's mom who was an amazing help and a much much better sales person then me (I have a lot to learn from her) and this one, which I did on my own. I'm feeling a little sad for not making it into a big Christmas market or trunk show, at the same time, I know those 3 experiences were very forming in the way of wanting to get over the fear and put myself out there more. I wish it was easier though!
When I got home, Ned and I fell asleep shortly after arrival, I woke up at about 10:00 PM and felt so lost, not quite sure what to do now, I made so much stuff for the trunk show that didn't get photographed yet that it felt silly to make more things, eventually I just set in front of the computer for a long time, reading the Israeli News and other silly websites till I got bored.
Eventually I decided to scan some of the sketchbook art that haven't been scanned in the past couple of weeks.
