Sunday, March 15, 2009
I don't think my skin ever looked this bad in my life. I never used to have any type of skin problem till I stopped taking the pills a few years back, now I'm getting all of what I missed in my teens, in my 30's.
I don't think I was ever this fat. I know I've never been this old. I look in the mirror and i hate the way I look.
Hanging out with friends today, who came from a photo shoot all dolled up and gorgeous, all I could think of was "I'm the oldest, the fattest and the ugliest woman in this restaurant".
I know most of this is stress about Ned's father being in the hospital, and that it's not really that bad. I know I'll be happy again and feel better about my skin and my wrinkles and the fact I never wear any make up or high heels shoes. I know this to shall pass.
I'm trying to finish a book of drawings I've been working on before our LA trip, and a book of photographs of craft stuff for that as well, I'm trying to make stuff for Etsy and list them cause it's been going pretty slow there for me since the beginning of the month, I'm trying to make some drawing for a submission in a galley in Brooklyn, and work some more on the new series for a new exhibition I've been working on.
I feel like I'm doing nothing and that I'm just starting more and more stuff and never finishing anything.