This was such an amazing week, we had a lot of successes and also, a lot of fun. A great many wonderful things are happening, among them, the opening party to my exhibition in Chicago, and Ned getting his first big commercial project in a couple of years. We were in meetings and errands about that all day yesterday and will be shooting on Thursday, A lot of it is still secretive, but it does involve a TV show and male nudity...
It feel like my life was hijacked by a much cooler and successful person then I am, sadly, that person seem to not have a flickr account and so somehow I feel like without being able to share, the experience doesn't really exist.
It's very humbling and even disturbing to come to term with the level of my flickr habit and how much I'm dependent on it ot both communicate with people and not feel so alone in the world.
Ned posted my e-mail to flickr help and the whole communication in this thread, the responses went from banning Ned from some biker group, to practical advices, people being sad for me and some telling off. It's both encouraging and depressing, I feel resentful toward all of them just cause they still have their flickr accounts and I don't.
I realized how me and probably everyone I know are so used to expecting fairness and justice in any type of interactions we are involved in, may it by in the election process or in not being pushed on the line to buy grocery in the store. How we expect, without ever questioning it, of privet companies to play fair though no where in flickr term of service they promise to do this, in fact, they pretty bluntly say that they reserve the right to delete any accounts whenever they choose to without a reason or explanation.
Somehow that makes me appreciate democracy a lot more. The realization that fairness is totally taken for granted in my life and the lives of people around me - to a point of not being able to even conceive the notion of organized unfairness.
The hardest thing in all this is the isolation, the second hardest thing is knowing, pretty much without a doubt, that in a couple of days I am going to just give up on my anger and nasty feelings about flickr and just start a new account, because there's really no other alternative.