Saturday, May 24, 2008

Worry

worry

Worry was the word of the week on Illustration Friday. Sometime it's really hard to find what I want to do for it, and some time it's super easy. This was one of the super easy ones, cause earlier this week I took a picture that I titled "Worry".

The photo was a self portrait I took after Ned got an e-mail that he got in to Grafuck book this year, we both send 3 images, he got one in and I didn't get any request for high resolution files which means I got rejected. I was so happy and proud for Ned but so sad and feeling like a failure for myself. Also him getting in meant that I couldn't write this off as one of those "those editors don't even know anything about art or anything" because they did show very good judgment by picking Ned's piece. So basically, however I could twisted it in my mind, the only conclusion was that I'm just not good enough.

Worried

The other day, while being in the train, I thought about a painting i made that day. I listed it on Etsy for 45$, and another one from the same day for 20$. I thought about a friend of mine that
had an art show in a gallery a few months back and now have one of her pieces in some auction site for 1,200$. And how it sort of suck and I feel about 30 times less of an artist then her. Then I thought that if I have to choose between selling 30 paintings to make 1,200$ or only one, I rather sell 30, cause it gives me the chance to make 30 paintings and though this is a pretty small comfort, it's still a comfort.

I'm really worried, not so much about the value of my art but about my own courage and abillity to step out of my comfort zone and becoming the artist I want to be.

13 comments:

Connie said...

Gorgeous images, great lines.

yahidith monnalisa said...

you have beautiful line work. nice work!

atomicvelvetsigh said...

lovely images indeed! you are very creative!

Ulla said...

brillant!

Paper Pictures said...

I love your artwork! Very beautiful!

studio lolo said...

This is a beautiful piece! Sometimes beautiful things come from grieving :)

Curious Art said...

A lovely drawing. The art biz can be daunting, but you have used your disappointment to make art... that's a sure sign that this is your calling.

Magic Penny said...

Shalom! This piece is beautiful. I can so relate to your feelings about being an artist and hoping to have the courage to claim that for yourself. You ARE an amazing artist.

Eric Barclay said...

Great piece-- your work is outstanding.

m. heart said...

i absolutely love this, and your blog as well. will definitely come back soon to visit.

neil said...

Hi Aya

An unknowable future can be the most worrying of all things but it is also a spur to pack as much as you can into today! You have a great talent keep using it.

Tony LaRocca said...

Very honest and insightful (and here my first reaction was that you were worried the birds would poop on you!) :)

Rrramone said...

Your work is beautiful. And for what it's worth, I was in the graphic design business for many years, and entered many shows. I even judged the Communication Arts illustration annual one year. And let me tell you, just because you weren't accepted into a show says nothing about your work. The judges all have their own opinions and that changes from year to year. Keep making art, you have a gift. Your photos are amazing too! :-)