Monday, September 1, 2008
Memorial day weekend
After 2 months of being sick and busy and realizing I'm becoming a true social hermit. This week came along, it feels like all of our friends who were likewise, being social hermits crawled out of their holes and want to play... we mat people every single day this week, went to 2 parties one day after the other and actually gone out in Manhattan to meet a friend in a bar.
It sounds like the most casual and regular thing in the world, but it seem to take a massive amount of effort to get us to go out those days and crossing the water into the city seem more difficult then ever.
It's not even laziness, at least I think it isn't. I remeber how when I worked in the ad agency, almost all social events were better then work, but now, I like what I'm doing so much, that making the effort to interact and spend time and energy on people seem to take so much out of me. On one hand, I enjoyed it a lot, and it was so nice to catch up and see some people and realize that I do have friends here, and on the other hand, I'm almost resentful toward them from taking me away from my sketchbook and computer and what I do around the apartment.
I made a series of 3 large drawings for a magazine submission and I want to make more of the same series and see if I can get a show out of it, it's hard to get myself to paint in the mornings, but then when I start it's hard to leave it behind and go talk to people and interact more then I'm used to. I feel so out of practice and totally self conscious when I try.
Tonight, we went to a barbecue for a friend's birthday. I was really happy to see them, cause it's been a really long time, but after a short time I realized how hard it was for me to just handle the small talk chit-chats of this party. I felt like i'm just sitting there contributing nothing.
The party started at 6:00 and at 9:00 we were all supposed to go see a concert, However as we were cleaning up the roof from the food leftovers and beer bottles, Ned slipped on a stair and hurt is shoulder and hip. We decided to go home instead so he can rest in bed. He's feeling better now - but I think we were both relieved to have a reason to just go home and not feel so self conscious about our lack of social skills.