Busy Day!

Finished mounting, cutting, sewing, shooting and listing 3 decks of pentacles cards and 3 decks of mini inspiration cards tonight. It's 6:00 AM and the sun's starting to rise. What a busy day!

Birthday

I had a birthday yesterday, and didn't want to do anything special to celebrate it. I'm in sort of a bad mood over all, because of some family issues I promised not to write about.

So we just decided to spend the day together.

Everyday we do what we like, every day we spend together. It's hard to do something special when every day in my life now feels pretty special.

We met a friend, walked to grand ferry park and watched the sunset, had an awesome dinner at La Superior and went to see a friend art show at Jack the Pelican, had ice cream and a strange evening nap and just spend time together finishing a big back up project and just doing nothing. I can't think of any better way to spend my birthday!

Moleskin Exchange

I just joined a very cool artistic adventure called "Moleskin exchange". Every participant get an identical sketchbook, draw 5-6 pager in it and send it to the next person in the list. By the end of the year, we are supposed to get our original book back filled with drawings from all the other participant.

Most of my artwork in the past couple of years were on papers about half the size, so, it's a little shocking to have to fill a page that large, so i just started, knowing that if I start to think about it too much, it'll get too scary to begin. I'm really curious to see how this project will turn out ot be.

More info here:
moleskine-exchange.blogspot.com/

Gifts

I'm going to turn 34 this Friday.

I usually get sort of depressed before birthdays. It always feel like i haven't accomplished enough in the last year and that, in my mind, I'm supposed to be in a different place then I actually am.

I think also, that being afar from Israel and my family makes this worth, I feel like I don't have any roots where I live, and that my life here is based on borrowed time. I keep having dreams about the past, and about a strange chain of event that makes me leave Ned and New York and go back to Israel, go back to my old apartment, then to my ex boyfriend and the apartment we had together, then back and back into my past personal history.

I'm thinking about the future and the choices I made. I'm thinking about growing old and having, or not having children.

I'm thinking about Ned and I separating and me being all alone in the world. I'm thinking about my mother saying "I told you so".


On Monday, I went to buy a present for my dad, his birthday is one day before me, and though usually I get books for birthdays, I decided to spend less on shipping this year and more on the gift and decided to get him a small iPod. I got one for me to.

I opened it yesterday and was more excited about the clear plastic box the the actual product, it was really beautiful. Ned and I talked about making something out of it. I thought about making a paper butterfly and putting it in the box like those preserved insects displays.

In the morning we found a dead butterfly on the floor. It came into the apartment a couple of days ago, I thought it found it's way out and flew away, but as it turned out, it died. I put it in the box, a gift from the world to me.

It feels very symbolic, maybe this is about changing, or about getting old, or about preserving the present for the future. Maybe this is about the fact that life, even after it's gone, is cooler and more beautiful then an iPod can ever be, maybe i'm just grasping at strews to verbalize feeling so sad and heavy

Law & Order

So finally after a 10 month wait, the episode of Law & Order CI made it to TV. We watched it tonight with Persiana, Andrew, Chava and Ned's parents. It was a really special experience to be surrounded with friends and have a special dinner Ned's mom made for us and have both family and friend present at this moment.

I wasn't sure how it's going to go, just the notion of sitting down to watch a whole TV show was strange, since i haven't done that in a few years. I kept being afraid that it's going to be super lame or that they'll cut out all of the scenes our photos were in.

Neither happened, the show looked good, all the scenes aside of one made it and the photos were screen 5 or 6 times and looked really good.

It's pretty amazing to think that Ned and I are going to live forever in reruns...

the juggs

Pentacles

Finally! they are done! I've been wanting and dreading finishing the black Lilly deck of tarot cards for ages, and now it's (almost) done. All i have to do is make some more of them.



The reason why this is scary is that I already decided when the project was starting that once I complete the deck, I'm going to send it to some publishers and hopefully someone will get excited about it and would choose to publish them. I know it's a long shot, but if this happenes I'm going to fulfill one of my life long dreams.



I'm going to have to decide about one color layout (if any) and how the back side is going to look like but the basic design is done. Now I just hope they sell...