Sad

I didn't want to talk to you, I didn't even want to be with you, I just wanted you to know that you hurt my feelings and that I'm sad.

Then you fall asleep on the couch, and left me feeling like I'm an actress on a stage in an empty theater.

Sometimes, it sucks when the person you love most is also your best friend, because there's no one to turn to once you have a fight.

A story and a giveaway

I had so much stuff to do today! between a website I'm designing, a huge project Ned volunteered us to do and needs to be finished in a week, another website for a friend's band, packing some Etsy packages, making stuff for the shop, and a Special order for Ned's Mom and wanting to draw at least a couple of drawings today - the day seemed too short from when it was starting.

I decided to start with Ned's mom order, it the most fun project out of the bunch, and I could do it at a coffee shop and just tuned out from all the stress for a bit, before I dive in. A friend of her's just became a grandmother, and Ned's mom wanted a painting made specially for the new granddaughter.

The granddaughter have 5 different names, one of them is Rose, and one of them is Yael, which in Hebrew means a Capra, an animal sort of like a dear, so I decided to draw a Capra and some roses and write all the names on the drawings. Ned went home to do some phone calls, and I went to Blackbird Paurlor to work on the new painting.

It took about an hour and a half, then I put it aside on the chair next to mine, and started working on a second drawing for the day, feeling really great, that at least on of my tasks for the day is already done.

2 minutes later, a woman who got up from the table close to where I was sitting knocked a whole full bottle of water on the painting! the watercolor and pen all swirled together making a puddle of gray water that was dripping on the floor. The woman apologized a million times, and asked if I was going to sell the painting, offering to pay for it, but I felt like I just wanted her to get out of there. I blotched the painting with some paper and left it to dry till Ned got there. Still hoping to fix it, but after it was dry it was obvious that it just won't do.

The part that got destroyed the most was the names, they got totally smeared and became half not legible.

I tried to paint over it later at home, while working on a second painting for the granddaughter.


And so, I decided to give the blotch version, that i rather like now as a free givaway and a reminder to all of us that sometimes, we mess up and that's just how life goes.

For a chance to win this painting, leave a comment to this post and tell me about the last time you messed up, so I don't feel like I'm the only klutz in town...

I will raffle the winner on November 1st.

I started to work on a website for a cool client a while ago, and really had to finish the homepage today. It's funny how HTML goes for me, I really hate making websites, until I'm into the project and then I love it.

And so, in order to not work on the website, I went to Pearl River today to get some more plates, went to draw for a bit in a coffee shop, and then made 8 different tapas plates, 4 with birds, and 4 with Koi fish.

Then it was really time to work, so I tackled the website and in about 5 hours of super concentration, the homepage was finally done.

Then I made some pasta, granola for Ned and took photos of the new plates.

I like those super productive days, but no matter how much I manage to finish, I still feel like I haven't done enough.

603

603, originally uploaded by Aya Rosen.

Yay! I just crossed my sale target for the year with 2 and a half months left!

I want to celebrate with a big slice of cake, but I'm off sugar, so I guess I'll have to celebrate with Brussels sprout instead!

Zodiac

Still working to master the new watercolors, the shades are a lot more vibrant, it's very strange to have so much color in my new drawings.

I'm an Artist now!

No, really, and i have the ultimate proof for it, I own an artist grade watercolors.

OK, I'm laughing at myself a bit here, but only partly, partly I am serious.



This whole thing started a couple of months ago, when I started using Crimson instead of Rose madder to make purple because the Rose was running low. There was sitll some paint left and honestly, I could go on using this Winsor & Newton set for a while, but the notion that the rose will end one day (and the 2 blacks and the aquamarine, which were all running low) made me really nervous.

I've had this set since 2002 I think, I bought it after my previous set, A van-gogh I think, was lost after my backpack was stolen. I've been carrying it around with me most of the time since then. It visited 4-5 different countries and 3 continents. I've used it so much and still, there's enough paint in most of the pans to keep going. Usually, I don't buy anything new as far as supply is gone until the old stuff is all used, broken or lost.

And yet, a visit to an art store last week, trying to replace just the Rose and blacks, got me thinking about tools and different needs and commitments we make by investing in good quality supply. I went home tried ot do some reading and were missing a lot of info, strangely enough though the internet is full of info, there's still no real serious art supply review site!

Today, I went to a different store and got a really wonderful explanation and attention from one of the best art sellers in NYC. He made a really big effort in trying to describe the different in texture between different paint manufacturers (on pans, apparently not so much, aside of one manufacturer that uses honey mixed with a gum Arabic) and nature of the color, which is a really difficult thing to describe. I ended up buying a different brand then I intended to, Schmincke Horadam, and not the Artist Grade Winsor & Newton.

It was very odd to open the new set and then opening the wrapping on each pen, they look and feel just like candy or chocolate, and for a moment I though that maybe I should open just one color each day, just like I always swore to do at a kid when I got a new bag of candies (and always failed), there are 24 colors so that would be a month before i could actually use them so I gave up on the idea.

The other really strange thing is how, because they are so new and clean, my old batter set looks so much more impressive and professional then a brand new one.

I still feel really strange and mortified at the notion of spending a little over 200$ on paints. It's odd, I bought a 800$ camera last year and Ned and I just bought an extra light that was lamost 3,000$. But somehow, the idea of buying new paints because I'm a pro artist and should have pro artist equipment is really scary.

Now I just have to master the courage to actually use them.

What's going on?!

Not quite sure what's going on today.

A lot of really great things happened in the past couple of days, this morning, we got an answer from Law & order about another shoot we are going to do for them. A couple of days ago I heard back from TONY about a submission I did for them through etsy. I might just got a new graphic client, and I have 2 other big graphic projects to work on. An etsy order to finish and a couple of other things I wanted to do, as well as start making Christmas related stuff for the store.

I don't know if I just got used to things going good with life, and sort of slow with work, and now that things are going good with work I feel some strange destructive need to feel disatisfied with life, but that's how I feel today.

With all the awesomeness of the good news, I feel like shit.

I'm pissed with Ned for no good reason, I'm angry about not accomplishing or finishing anything today, I don't feel like doing anything, and just want to feel sorry for myself.