The Kindness of Strangers

We've been having such a hard time. Ned's father is in the hospital, his immune system is down to zero (starting at 10,000 white cells count and now, less then 1,000) which is to be expected, but still it's sad and hard. We've been going to the hospital every couple of days, still trying to take care of work and business, but actually doing very little and spend a lot of time just doing nothing and being sad.


Ned's father asked him yesterday not to post anymore photos of him online until he get out of the hospital, which we can understand, but still, the picture taking, both for him and of him, were a part of how we dealt with the difficulties of this situation and having to stop parts of it, makes us feel a lot more alone with dealing with all those feelings.

Ned and I were talking about this while having dinner at taco-chulo, I tried to understand what was so hard in not being able to post those picture, I realized that the whole notion of publicity changed a lot between Ned's dad generation to ours, and also, that the notion of being a part of a community or having friends is very different. To me, being able to be week around people is a big part of what community and friendship means, I have no problem in telling a waitress in a restaurant that i had a shitty day or to tell my friends why, I think that letting other knows about my faults and feelings is the greatest gift I can give them - my honesty and openness. I think that to Ned's father, friends and community are about being strong for others and others being strong for you, without anyone ever showing any weakness at all. The idea of exposing his illness seem inappropriate or undignified, while for me, not exposing it means i get to be lonely with my feeling and get no support from my community.

As I was thinking of this, 3 things happened in the course of one evening that made me so happy to be a part of the community and have the connections I have!

The first was those 2 awesome portraits, done by the super cool Molly Peck especially for me and Ned! how amazing are those! and the timing was so so perfect. I'm really impressed with both likeness and how she captured our spirit and character and, strangely enough, the type of light our apartment have in a sunny morning.

The second was a total stranger coming over to our table as we were talking about Ned's dad and introducing herself as Claire, turns out she works on Etsy and recognized us from the video interview we did last year, it was so wonderful to have someone coming over ot say hi in the middle of this strange conversation about generation and support and the internat! Thanks os much Claire! you totally made our evening and reminded me thar i'm not alone in the world!



The last cool thing (though actually it's only last cause I took care of writing back to her last in that strange and long evening) is this super cool e-mail from Tessa, a cool etsy seller who bought this bear art kit a few weeks ago, and send me the result of her work! how amazing is this! I'm so glad to see that this art kit is actually being used and not just sitting in someone's drawer. And I really love Tessa's cool art (check out her shop, it's really awesome!)

Good things comes in 3!

We had such a rough day today, spending most of it in the Hospital with Ned's father. He hasn't gone though any treatments yet, and he's really strong and wonderful throughout this whole thing, but man! it just seem so unfair that he get to be locked up in a room for 3 weeks and go through horrible, painful treatments. It really sucks.

I'm usually not the type of person that focus on the good things, and over all, much rather just feel what there is to feel in a tough situation. But I guess it's just overwhelming to figure this whole situation out at once, so I am trying to focus on some good things that happened today.

The first is that I won the Apartment therapy competition! how awesome is that! seeing the other tutorials I didn't think I stood a chance - everyone else did big things, like building an irrigation system or redecorating a whole house. But... I won! and by far! I had 20 votes more then second place!

Thanks for everyone who voted for me!
and read more about it here!



This is really and truly amazing, I'm so moved I'm speechless.

It's so cold in NY, there are icicles hanging from street signs and traffic light and the streets are covered in snow.
With the shitty feeling I had all day it was so so wonderful to come home and find a letter from Gali Rose, sending me some of her awesome photographs of the Tel Aviv beach!

I miss Israel so much this month, cause it's been a year since my last visit and cause it's so cold here and cause being in NY and dealing with all the family stuff is really hard, and so it's really really great to be reminded of how much I love it there.

Thanks Gali! you totally rock!



A whole bag of Cracker Jacks!
Cause when all else fails, sugar is your best friend... and peanuts of course!

Weekend

Ned's father is going to the hospital tomorrow, he's going to have a bone marrow transplant, which means he's going to be in a clean room on his own for 3 weeks and not allowed to go out of it, we can visit if we scrub and wear doctor's masks. He's probably going to be really tired and weak, but hopefully, after this, will start to recover from cancer.

We've been at home mostly, not quite feel like doing anything, both edgy and upset, we had 2 fights in the past couple of days, we usually don't fight. I really hate fighting with Ned. It always reminds me how alike we are though, we say the same things to one another in this strange spiral conversation that only ends when one of us decide it's enough and that there aren't going to be any winners in this.

My father called yesterday, waking me up at 2:00 PM after a long night of working. He told me that the dog that they took from the pound a while ago isn't working out for them, she keep crying and wants to go out for walks all the time, he said that they are going to give it back to the pound. It made me really sad, how bad they are with pets and the idea that you can take and give away a responsibility for another living soul.
In the bathroom, while brushing out teeth later that afternoon, Ned said "this is your home, even if we fight I love you and I'm not sending you back to the pound".



I didn't really feel like making anything or answering any e-mails or talking much. Also, a very slow past 10 days on Etsy really didn't make me feel like listing or making anything new.

I did however started and finished our new website and also worked on a new project that involves a massive amount of photos from our trip to PA a couple of weeks back. I sort of feel like packing a bag and going of a long trip, I think mostly because I don't want to be hear and deal with how I'm feeling.