Strange New Age mambo Jumbo

An answer to an e-mail I got from a friend about freedom and liberation through tuning your body with the universe (I think)

Hay.

I’m going to write you a different e-mail later or tomorrow, cause you asked for Hebrew and my laptop is showing some death signs so I’m trying to fix it now. But I did want to response to this thing so, while I can do that in English I will. I’m writing it to you, but since you send the first e-mail to a bunch of people, feel free to send it to them as well, maybe it will start an interesting debate.

I’ve read what you wrote a couple of times in the morning, and a couple of times in the evening, it got mixed up with a conversation I had with Ned, with the book I was listening to, with my computer being messed up, with a bit of luck I had yesterday and a bunch of other things, it’s quite possible, that if I got that e-mail tomorrow or last week, it would make me feel quite different, but I did get it today so I’ll try to write about it from how I see things now.

There is no road to liberation; there is no process in the path to enlightenment or freedom. In my experience, there is only the currant place where we are in life, a hundred million tiny choices we make everyday, and they are all my chances to be free and act according to my free will. Some situations allow me more freedom, some less, some choices will bare an ill effect on the future and so even though I feel like doing something I might avoid it (yes, I don’t really think my body would be too happy in the long run if I eat another piece of cake so though I really want one, I’ll have some coffee instead). Some of those choices I choose because it’s the right thing to do, some on impulse, some because I’m scared, or feel responsible, some because I forget to really ask myself what I want and just go with the flow.

I’m scared, and I know, everyone I know is also scared, our life is flooded with fear – the fear of rejection, of pain, or being hurt, of messing up and being yelled at, of being held responsible for our own actions, being thought of as a freak, not being loved, being lonely, being alone.

For me, the only way to achieve anything that I have achieved in the past few years of my life, may it be a husband I love, living without the burden of a 9-5 job, a good relationship with my sister, a no relationship with my mother, an art show and some fame (though so far no fortune) friends and so on – came from accepting fear as a part of my life, but, still making the effort to choose what I wanted regardless to the fear. I’m also painfully aware of all the things I haven’t achieved yet - a good relationship with my family, financial success, fame, an art show in NY, better relationship with friends, an ability to fix my computer on my own, a regular (or any type of) physical exercise routine, a mid for business and so on, are very much not yet within my grasp cause I’m too scared to go for it.

And you know what?! That’s also OK, I might get there eventually, I might not, I know I have my own unique personality with it’s strengths and weaknesses, and I’m doing a little better on some days, and on other days, I’m doing worse. I don’t think I need to be perfect, all I can do or be in me – and sometimes that the best thing in the world and some times it truly and utterly sucks. And I’m happy to be me, at least, most of the time.
There is no road to liberation and there is no path to follow, don’t attempt to liberate yourself, be free! Don’t attempt to “walk the path to enlightenment” just turn on the light! Your life is being lived one minute at a time, whatever you do in that time is up to you. This is not a school there are no lessons to be learned, your life is a work of art that you are creating, a book that you are writing, it can be as short or as long as you choose it to be, it can be a well constructed plot or a stream of consciousness novel. How know, it might be a poetry book, or short stories, or a case study, or a shopping list – it’s up to you to live it the way you see fit.
Observing yourself and your life is mostly just a way to defend yourself from fear, being cynical, most of the time, is also, just a way to defend yourself from fear. It’s OK to use those methods, we all need our armors, and it’s also nice to find situations or way to take it off once in a while.

As far as I can tell, there is no god, there is no heaven and hell or reward or punishment, we create our own rewards and our own punishments. There are no distractions, there’s just life and what we choose to focus on, some times finishing studying for an exam is more important then going out drinking, sometimes a Metalica concert is more important then attending a funeral, sometimes, staying up till sunrise laughing in bed is more important then going well at an important meeting the next day, sometimes, the hardest thing in the world is picking up the phone, and the easiest is making 20 paintings in one night.

Staying focus on a target is just one way to perceive life.

Having a graceful sense of timing, a harmony with the world, though a profound experience, is just one way to interact with the world around us.

Being happy or content is just one emotion we can experience, it is not a goal, it is just that in this state we avoid fear, and the horrible feeling of not being good enough and emptiness, which are all, after all, also, just one more emotion on a large scale of what makes us human, and of what make us the individuals that we are.

Life is a constant struggle, because it changes around us, and we change in it, and I don’t think there’s some place or state of mind to aspire to. I know I hope to struggle and interact and be baffled and angry and sad and happy and silly and content and hungry and thirsty and in need of a stiff drink or a cup of coffee till I die. I don’t want to be enlightened; I just want to be me.

WOW!

WOW!, originally uploaded by Aya Rosen (the artist formerly known as Lilly1975).

check it out!

Oh my god! can you believe this?! Fact and fancy made it to some TV news show and my print is in there! how cool is that?!

Tethered to the Sun on Louchelink

I'm super excited about having tethered to the sun on Louchelink. They are one of my favorite people on Flickr and their photography is really amazing.

Read interview here:
http://www.louchelink.com/

News News News!

Well, the cool and big news in that I'm going to take part at the fact and fancy Holiday meet

the artist trunk show! Everyday, for a week there are going to host a different artist in the gallery and have more room for their stuff and I'm going to be one of those lucky people! Horay!

The Gallery in at 75 Hoyt st. in Brooklyn, and I'm going to be there on Saturday December 20th, I'm really happy and excited and now going into work frenzy to make enough stuff for this show. I'm making some hand painter ceramics and there's going to be some new art kits and reader kits as well as some original art and prints.

I really love their space and every time I'm there, I want to buy the entire store, get confused and buy nothing, but this time, I've decided that I got to leave the space with one gift for myself, so you can all come and help me pick what I'm getting.

Broken

Oh no!

Last year at about the same time, the exact same thing happened! a cold day, I touch my glasses and without any type of warning, they crack down the middle and break!

I'm not sure why, I'm glad I got 2 pairs last time I was in Israel and so I'm not really physically effected by this (plus, I was never in love with this frame).

Still it feels very disorienting and odd to loose something that's almost a part of my body.

My new frame is much lighter is if feels very odd not to have the weight of those on my nose and ears.

Shoot - Sierra

The first shoot we had in a while with an independent model who doesn't belong to an agency.

The experience of shooting a models is always surprising and fun for me. I always somehow expect them to "act like a model" which is my mind, I guess based on TV and movies, is somewhere between stupid and nasty - I'm not sure how I got so prejudgist, maybe it's jealousy or mistrust in beautiful people. Non of the models I've met were either stupid or nasty so far.

This girl was so awesome, she was funny and creative and just really fun to be around. She brought such great energy to the shoot.

New Site

We were sitting in Fornino Pizza this evening, Ned was feeling sort of low, and we were talking about promoting his work so he gets some more cool projects like the Law & Order shoot. I was thinking of how hard it is to find places to promote myself and my own work and how I hate doing that.

It made us realize that one of the things artists want the most is spaces where they can promote and show their art and personality. And that a good way to make people aware of you, is by promoting other people (I was thinking of Joy quarterly magazine, which is really lovely, but the guy who edit and produce it also take a lot of the photos in it, which give the magazine a pretty isolated feel and also, total lack of interest from other people).

And I Decided to make a new website in which, every 2 weeks Ned and I will feature another artist or photographer or musician or friend.

So now it's 7:00 in the morning and the website is done! it's called LouchLink and since I wanted to finish the layout today, Ned is the first artist who's featured on it (we couldn't get anyone else on such short notice...) but from now on, we'll be featuring other artists and awesome people.

If you would like to be featured, e-mail us some photos of your work and a few sentenses about who you are and what you do, or follow the "submit" button on the site.